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 Post subject: Sam's Leaving Debauch
PostPosted: Sun Feb 19, 2006 9:10 pm 
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We are the knights that say "Niche!!!"

Date: February 18th, 2006
Location: Exeter and chez Ravenfamily
Excuse (as if the League needs one): Sam's leaving do.
Guilty Parties: Ravenbait (Sam), AndyGates, Charlotte, Tim & Kathy Pike, Chuffy, Baggy, AlfieNoakes (aka Stu), Marco (RB's other half) Wellesley (a ferret) and your humble scribe, Spesh.


The weekend started as it meant to go on, with a certain amount of seepage from the skies, leading to a general moistness. As I had loaded the Slightly Heavy Individual Transport (aka my commuter hack) in the anticipation of a two-wheeled assault on Exeter later, I was mildly concerned when conditions got beyond merely moist, and became rather wet...

I had arranged to pick up Charlotte from Exeter Coach Station en route to chez Ravenfamily, and was running ahead of time which at least allowed me to hunt down a cash machine after I had parked up. As it turned out, the National Express coach was running ahead of time, such that Charlotte arrived mere seconds after I had turned round to head back to the car.

It turns out that the Divine Comedy have much to answer for. Jolly hostesses with arses the size of small countries are a figment of Neil Hannon's imagination. Or at least they were this weekend.

In the event, we decided not to ride in, which given the distance we would have had to travel, would have impinged on drinking time. With Sam volunteering to be designated driver - partly due to being pished the previous night - we left the Scuzzy Hybrid In Tape to get acquainted with Sam's On-One, and set off for the Double Locks.

The in-drive entertainment set the tone for the rest of the evening, as Andy used his new wi-fi webulator tablet thingy to interact in a perverse way with Charlotte's mobile phone, whilst looking for dwarf zombie porn, or was it insertible ducks? It seems that smut is the driver behind new technology, and the League and Sorority were well and truly in their element already.

More to follow...

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Last edited by spesh on Sun Feb 19, 2006 9:43 pm, edited 2 times in total.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Feb 19, 2006 9:33 pm 
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Musky Mustelids

The search for more outlandish niche porn markets continued at the Double Locks - "necrophiliac gangbanging ducks" was the closest we came to a Googlewhack all evening. The idea of converting fat removed via liposuction into bio-diesel made a brief appearance in the conversation, as well.

Never let it be said that a League & Sorority event isn't mind-expanding...

Then Kathy introduced us to Wellesley (the latest furt member of the Pike household) and his Smell, which leads an independent life of its own. As the photographic evidence shows, Wellesley seemed to be rather taken by Charlotte.

Unfortunately, our stay at the Double Locks was curtailed by the presence of a covers band, playing at a volume which put a severe crimp on conversation. And the choice of tunes left a bit to be desired as well.

Thus we headed for an alternative drinking establishment*, whilst discussing the practicalities of razor-blade corsets and chain-mail bikinis. As you do...

It gets worse. Much, much worse...

* The name of which escapes me, possibly due the effect of witnessing what transpired there.

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The Revolution Will Not Be Televised, but there'll probably be some clips of it on YouTube. (c/o Stew & Gil Scott Heron)


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Feb 19, 2006 10:01 pm 
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OMFG!

Once we had managed to find a cosy corner, events took on a slightly bizarre turn. Stu presented Sam with a Tam O'Shanter, replete with a ginger wig, which was soon put to comic use. What happened next is best described as Charlotte finding herself in a niche. More specifically, past the knuckles. :shock:

Doubtless the photographic and video evidence of Madam Vice Chairman <s>filling a niche</s> fulfilling her role will become public in the fullness of time... :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:

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The Revolution Will Not Be Televised, but there'll probably be some clips of it on YouTube. (c/o Stew & Gil Scott Heron)


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Feb 19, 2006 10:41 pm 
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Playstation fun!

On returning to chez Ravenfamily, the drinking and silliness continued. Oh, and the dwarf porn. :yikes:

An important discovery was made - just as you should never play poker with any man called "Doc", it is equally wise not to take on people called Spesh in music quiz games. :wink: By way of balance, I wasn't much good at the Eye-Toy games... :D

Is there anything <s>my mind has erased for self-protection</s> I've missed?

Until the next time, WingCo Spesh.

PS. Anyone got any mental floss? :lol:

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The Revolution Will Not Be Televised, but there'll probably be some clips of it on YouTube. (c/o Stew & Gil Scott Heron)


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Feb 20, 2006 3:50 pm 
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Gang-banging Ducks!

Whilst pedalling between the Double Locks and the White Hart, Chuffy, Alfie and myself encountered a dabble of ducks which were writhing around in an orgiastic fashion :fustercluck:

Shocking!


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Feb 20, 2006 5:29 pm 
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Spring must have Sprung now then! :D


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 Post subject: Blimey!
PostPosted: Wed Feb 22, 2006 5:59 pm 
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This wasn't any of us, was it? Right time, right place:

Link

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Edit:
My mistake - it was AM.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Feb 23, 2006 4:40 am 
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Auntie Sam's dear nephew?? :-k :yikes:

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Feb 23, 2006 10:32 am 
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Heretic wrote:
Auntie Sam's dear nephew?? :-k :yikes:


Having met Hummers on a number of occasions, I don't think it's him. Doesn't match the description.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Feb 23, 2006 2:31 pm 
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On a mountain bike? I don't think it can be anyone I know...


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Feb 23, 2006 2:44 pm 
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Location: In a secret lab beneath the Tower of Fettle...
Mmm, knobblies :shock:

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Feb 23, 2006 8:06 pm 
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Actually, come to think of it - that was on my Saturday early morning hangover cure route.
It was a chilly morning, so I'm sure I would have noticed if I'd forgotten my trollies.
Anyway, the description said he had fair hair, whereas I have a blue helmet. I'm sure he did, too, only not on his head.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Mar 07, 2006 2:30 pm 
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Were we looking for necrophiliac ducks?

http://www.boingboing.net/2005/03/08/ig ... winne.html

Sam

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