The Club

The League's Clubhouse
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 Post subject: Finding your way around.
PostPosted: Tue Apr 18, 2006 8:10 pm 
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Location: The Seventh Level of Hell
A map will be produced shortly. I have the architects working on it.

In the meantime…

Owing to a recent glut of expansion, some of our more senior members are apparently finding it hard to work out whereabouts exactly they are in Snipe Manor, the home of the League of Gentlemen Cyclists and the Intrepid Sorority.

It is really fairly self-explanatory.

In the Entrance Hall you will find those areas suitable for new members and the noticeboards. A fairly obvious place for such things to live. Here you will also find the FAQ – the guidebook, as it were.

Next to the East Wing. This Wing has been specially constructed to be robust enough so that members do not have to remove their cleated shoes before wandering around. This, then, is where you will find the Events Office, the Board Room, the Embassies (for discussion of League matters occurring elsewhere), our Team trophy room and the Ladies’ Locker Room. Please note that anti-surveillance devices are in place in the girls’ changing rooms and the Belles of the Sorority can be quite fierce when provoked. Gentlemen are advised to behave as gentlemen – although of course such advice is unnecessary for our members.

In the West Wing the décor is more opulent. This Wing is dedicated to relaxing and reminiscing. Thick carpets, portraits of our cherished members, the bar… Please remove shoes before entering and no traipsing mud into the carpet.

The North Wing is at the back of Snipes Manor. Here is where the administrivia takes place. Here also is to be found the locked door to the Shrubbery, should you ever find yourself in need of it. Please contact one of the Board for a key. The North Wing is less welcoming, although you will find the rather cramped Club Office here, for matters relating to the Club both in and out of the Clubhouse.

The Basement is stark, bare, and robust enough for steam cleaning. Come here for Madame Vice Chairman’s lavishly furnished Dungeon, the Workshop and the Science Lab. All areas of the basement have been made resistant to chemical, physical and biological hazards. Some areas are to be kept sterile, but see the science team for further advice on that matter.

I hope that helps you find what you are looking for. If you have any further queries, please do not hesitate to write them on a postcard and send them to Santa Claus.

Sam

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