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PostPosted: Mon Oct 31, 2005 9:56 am 
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Fantastic! :D

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PostPosted: Mon Oct 31, 2005 2:30 pm 
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<center>ANDYGATES (Munky)</center>

AndyGates was found living as a feral child in the wilds of the Cotswolds by Professor Stig Morgenstern, the infamous paleobiologist and rock star. This momentous event occurred sometime in the late seventies, however he still bears traces of his formative years.

It is believed that he wandered off from his parents while on a family outing, and was adopted by a sett of short-sighted badgers. Being of a naturally hairy and surly disposition, AndyGates was mistaken for one of their cubs and ushered inside. This is believed to be the only explanation for the failure of the various search parties to recover the child from what is a fairly well-known and well-frequented area of English countryside.

Professor Morgenstern estimated that the child had been raised by the badgers for around seven years, which, he observed, is a very mythic number, no doubt explaining why the adult AndyGates still shows signs of badger humour. It took the professor several years of patient coaching to wean AndyGates off his diet of frogs, voles and earthworms and render him capable of communicating in anything other than monosyllabic grunts. While he was learning to speak English and shave, AndyGates was also learning about Professor Morgenstern's more esoteric interests, and developed a keen curiosity regarding the world of science.

No one knows quite how he came to be involved with the League. It is known that he had entered the world of velocipedes at a relatively early age, and was on the sidelines of the racing world for a period. His current steeds are Dave, who is a long-suffering and neglected Cannondale Bad Boy with a personality complex to match that of Marvin the Paranoid Android; and Nero, who is a handsome Mercian track bike with Campag Record hubs and who occasionally finds itself dragged around some dirty, filthy, muddy off-road track on a pair of Hutchinson Gold Elites. There is also Lance - a home-built abomination folder fixie with enough flex in the bottom bracket to give the impression of having full suspension.



FROM THE FILES OF THE ABD

Sex: Male
Height: About 6' (1.8m)
Weight: Considerable.
Eye colour: Blue
Hair: Oh yes.
Race: To the pies.

Distinguishing features:
Has a pair of badger skulls tattooed on his back. It is believed they answer to the names Bert and Ernie. Has the sort of beard you would expect from the presiding Chairman of the League. Occasionally he waxes it with a combination of dubbin and proofide. No. Really.

MEMO

We thought we might have got this one for a while, when he developed an obsession with overhauling a Mazda van into his own little bachelor pad. Anyone who can do the electrics on something like that, we figured, has got to have a price. And the price of the League's Chairman is worth paying. Then we realised what he was using to fuel the blasted thing: chip fat. You heard me - chip fat. The bastard is running his van on vegetable oil, and even has plans to use the rendered fat from cosmetic liposuction as a "sustainable fuel source". What sort of pink, commie, yoghurt-knitting, lentil-munching, god-hating fag thing to do is that? Christ, he might as well paint it pink and stick CND symbols on the side of it.

Where does the League find these people? It's starting to depress me. Stan? Stan, if you're reading this, book a table at the Pussycat Lounge. I think I need to watch that stripper in the stars and stripes g-string just to get my pecker up again.

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PostPosted: Tue Nov 01, 2005 5:27 am 
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Roflmao!
Really I've just spat homebrew all over the monitor.
Apart from the "I'd do a man with boobs" bit that's my kinda guy :badger:

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PostPosted: Thu Nov 03, 2005 7:06 pm 
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I need one from you, Heretic.

Actually, if people without bios could post one that would be very helpful. This particular volume is the hardest brief I've ever had what, satirise the break-up of C+, the neo-con Republicans and fundie God botherer ID theme park builders all in an X-Men stylee using X-Men character crossovers? Sure! No problem! Utter bastards and it would be very nice to have bios for character assignation purposes.

Sam

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"You might remember that 'annoyed' is my natural state!"
http://quantumcoyote.com
"Ya'd think we could just attracts ants, like normal people."


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PostPosted: Fri Nov 04, 2005 4:10 am 
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Sam I gave you a Bio way back when we were still on C+.
If you haven't found it when I check this next I'll have another go though. :roll:

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PostPosted: Fri Nov 04, 2005 1:46 pm 
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Oh. Did you?

What's your moniker over there? That might be why I've lost it.

You can PM me if you don't want anyone else to know :-$

Sam

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"You might remember that 'annoyed' is my natural state!"
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"Ya'd think we could just attracts ants, like normal people."


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PostPosted: Fri Nov 04, 2005 1:56 pm 
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Yes, I did one ages ago too. And sent it you again last time you lost it! If I have to do so a third time, there will be consequences young lady!

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PostPosted: Fri Nov 04, 2005 2:05 pm 
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TimC wrote:
Yes, I did one ages ago too. And sent it you again last time you lost it! If I have to do so a third time, there will be consequences young lady!


Tim, check page 1 of this thread:

viewtopic.php?p=790#790

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PostPosted: Fri Nov 04, 2005 2:38 pm 
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:warpath:

Sam

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"You might remember that 'annoyed' is my natural state!"
http://quantumcoyote.com
"Ya'd think we could just attracts ants, like normal people."


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PostPosted: Sat Nov 05, 2005 12:23 am 
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Oh. Time to feel just a little stupid. Fuck.




Sorry!

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PostPosted: Sun Nov 06, 2005 4:23 am 
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Your memory's failing old girl. I used my initials, PW. IIRC I suggested the name change be built into the current plot & you replied "I'm on it".

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PostPosted: Sun Nov 06, 2005 2:30 pm 
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I'm poorly sick!

I do remember. I just needed reminding...

Sam

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http://ravenfamily.org
"You might remember that 'annoyed' is my natural state!"
http://quantumcoyote.com
"Ya'd think we could just attracts ants, like normal people."


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PostPosted: Mon Nov 07, 2005 3:36 am 
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Best wishes with the Lurgy, just don't send it up here!

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PostPosted: Tue Nov 08, 2005 2:44 pm 
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Hmmmm.

I think I have a plan for you, Heretic. Involving a daring rescue by members of the League who hitherto haven't got out much.

A bit like the recent cinema edition of Thunderbirds...

Sam

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:braaak: :borg:
http://ravenfamily.org
"You might remember that 'annoyed' is my natural state!"
http://quantumcoyote.com
"Ya'd think we could just attracts ants, like normal people."


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PostPosted: Fri Nov 11, 2005 3:30 am 
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Is this a case of coming with strings attached? :oops: :evilidea:

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